Like Wounds That Bleed The Weekend
by manicpixiedreampharaoh
Summary: The one where Atem is a drug dealer, Kaiba is stressed, and Yugi is troubled.
1. Lampshade me from you

Yugi shook his shoulders, trying to dislodge the soft blanket of snow that had gathered in the creases of his coat.

Impatiently, he shoved the key into the door, roughly jaunting it around in the lock.

 _Stupid fucking thing._

They had been putting off replacing the lock for months.

 _Stupid Craig._

He silently cursed out his insane neighbour, who had decided recently that shoving something – the specifics of that something still up for debate - through the lock would be perfect revenge for their loud music, while glaring at his door.

"Douchebag." He muttered aloud, still shaking at the key impatiently.

Fuck, he hoped Jou was okay.

He could still hear his own words, cruel attacks that had risen through his throat like bubbles, forcing his mouth open and spilling out and slicing into Jounouchi. He remembered looking down on his best friend's unfocused eyes and gaunt cheekbones, while his head swelled and roared with his rage.

The worry had quickly become fear, the fear disgust, the disgust hatred.

Yugi had forgotten, in the heat of his blinding hostility, that he should be concerned for his friend, instead saw nothing but a shambling imitation of the person he used to trust with everything he had.

 _"What the fuck, Jounouchi? It's ten in the morning! If you think I'm going to call Mai and make an excuse for you again..._ ** _Fuck_ **_. You said you were going to stop."_

 _His voice cracked on that last sentence._

 _He cringed, hated himself for it._

 _"Yug', just leave me alone." His friend's voice was barely a whisper._

 _Yugi glared down in disgust at the shaking, shambles of a boy._

 _This wasn't his best friend._

 _He didn't recognize this person at all._

 _The deep love he usually felt for his housemate was shrouded by the ice-coated fist that had clenched tightly around his heart and squeezed unrelentingly._

 _"You're pathetic, you know that?" He could hear the venom seeping through his lips, spilling through the air, and felt no desire to stop them. The poison tasted good on his tongue, he felt the deadly reality of his words as he spoke them, the truth of them._

 _He wanted this imposter to know how unwelcome he was in their home, to know how deeply he disgusted Yugi._

 _"You're just like him." He intoned. "Your father? You look just like him."_

 _Jou's eyes widened at that, his head snapping up too quickly._

 _Yugi heard his neck crack, almost saw Jounouchi's body hanging from the noose he had tied himself._

 _He felt the drumbeat build up in his chest, watched with some sick sense of power as the misery leaked into blurred, muddy eyes. "I don't even want to look at you, I'm going out."_

The door clicked loudly and his wrist finally spun with the key, Yugi sighed in relief and hastily drove his knee against it while he shoved the top half with his hand.

The stupid thing still caught on the top frame, he groaned and shoved his entire body against it, shoulder-first.

Catching himself easily as his weight flew through the empty space once it finally relented, he started down the hall.

"Jou?" He called tentatively, flicking on warm yellow lights as he padded softly down the hallway.

The apartment was too quiet.

"Jou- Jounouchi? I'm coming in." He called, bracing one hand against the splintered, naked wood of his friend's bedroom door, silently pleading for a response, any indication that what was on the other side of the door wouldn't require an ambulance again.

He knew he should already be in there.

The door held the kind of history that would never be known, scars that ran deep, blemishes, unrecognisable stains.

There had been a large fragment of the wood missing, above the handle, that they had taped cardboard over to cover.

He should be in there, he thought again, as he traced his fingers along the deep incisions in the wood from days before they had lived here, studying them, buying time with minutes of his friend's life.

He knew he should open the door.

He swallowed, curling his fingers to bury nail in palm, he squeezed tightly as he pushed the door open.

"I was wondering when you'd come back." His best friend's voice was sharp, but Yugi ears acknowledged the dry scrape behind it.

For an addict, Jou really sucked at taking his **actual** medication. He knew his body couldn't handle winter, let alone a body that suddenly weighed 20 pounds less than it was accustomed to.

Yugi ran his eyes quickly down Jounouchi's body, hovering at his exposed wrists – pale pink and silver, but no red, no fresh attempts at pulling himself out of his own skin.

He sighed softly in relief. "Jou, I'm - I'm sorry." He took a deep breath, focusing on steadying his quivering hands and voice.

 _Control_.

He studied the pale face of his best friend.

Jounouchi was angry. He looked almost murderous, but it was slightly diminished by the hand scratching absently – no, mechanically, _automatically_ \- at the pit of his elbow, where the skin was scabbed and littered with tiny white blemishes that Yugi knew were from his own nails, and the laboured breath from between his chapped, pale lips.

Yugi knew that what he'd said had crossed a line. He couldn't have inflicted more pain upon his friend.

It had been a low blow, even if it was technically true at the time.

Yugi had known it would burn deep in Jounouchi's chest, and worse, he'd wanted it to. He'd wanted his best friend to ache and hate himself.

Maybe he was becoming cruel.

 _Ha_.

That'd show everyone who had called him a pushover in elementary school.

He would have smirked to himself at that if Jou's eyes weren't fixed on him. He could see the questions in them. The hint of buried worry hidden behind anger. (Of course he was worried, he's shooting up three times a day, and of _course_ he's still concerned for _Yugi.)_

"Sorry isn't gonna fix this, Yugi. You should just move out."

"Shut up. You don't mean that."

"Well, how am I gonna stand to look at you? You're an asshole."

Yugi shrugged, "Tell me what to do and I'll do it." He slid his cold hands into his coat pockets, pulling it down so it stretched taut across his shoulders, "Jesus, Jou, you want me to trade rooms? Let you win at chess for once? Suck your dick?" He volunteered, working to retain his calm tone, ensuring he established a clear edge to it - sharp, cutting.

Jou's mouth curled up a little at that and Yugi could see him fighting to maintain his scowl, he'd never been able to control his smile, Jounouchi was a ride or die kind of person.

"You know I could beat you at chess if I tried." Yugi scoffed at that, it was too obviously a lie for him to even be offended. "And anyway, I don't want anything from you." There was a long pause, then, as Jounouchi stared at him, "You're a shitty friend sometimes, you know that?"

Jou stood, glowering down at Yugi, who just rolled his eyes.

He was always trying to use his height to intimidate people. It didn't work quite so well when that 5'8" frame was barely 100 pounds these days.

His friend had grown lankier than before, bones cutting through skin awkwardly, skin far too pale to be healthy, a hint of blue crawling beneath the surface.

Jounouchi was bluffing with the tough guy act.

He knew what he wanted from Yugi in order to forgive him. It was a matter of holding out until he was offered the solution – Yugi was accustomed to this game.

Yugi squared his shoulders, glaring up at Jou, "Like you can talk, junkie."

Jou laughed, once, a short bark from the base of his throat, Yugi would bet money that would have hurt, "You can do better than that, King of Games."

His hand appeared on Yugi's throat, pushing him backwards suddenly, his fingers jutting sharply against the soft flesh below his jaw, forcing Yugi's breath to shorten and rasp.

Yugi narrowed his eyes, grunted as he choked, and allowed himself be directed, his chin forced upwards by the pressure of Jounouchi's hand, while he wrapped his own fingers around the larger, bonier hand. The violence in their friendship had quickly become their best method of communication, of coping.

His back met the wall with a gentle thud, between the cold and his thick coat, Yugi barely felt it. Jounouchi's hand was supporting him, holding him so his feet were off the floor.

 _Bastard._

"Jounouchi, how about we skip the foreplay and get to the part where you're trying to punch me, while forgetting that I'm too quick for you?" He managed to quip, as he quickly evaluated his best plan for defence.

Jou's eyes glinted darkly, and Yugi could already see him clenching his free fist, "Too quick huh?"

Yugi almost rolled his eyes, but settled for slipping his thumb beneath Jou's, roughly twisting his hand around so he was released, his feet caught him easily and he drove elbow-first for Jounouchi's exposed ribs, watching as his furious expression dissolved instantly when the pain flared through him.

He gingerly rested his palm against protesting ribs.

Yugi knew he wouldn't retaliate, watching as he rested the flats of his hands against his own knees, fighting to catch his breath.

"I thought you were better than that, Yugi. What happened to being a pacifist?" he managed in barely a whisper.

Yugi had winded him.

It was Yugi's turn to laugh at that, "That philosophy walked out the door around the same time Valon did, with all my money and my phone." He said bluntly, watching the guilt flick through Jounouchi's eyes.

 _Oh yeah, I haven't forgotten that yet, Jerk._

"God you're an asshole, Yug'." Jou sat on the bed, panting softly, soft clouds forming around his breathe - Yugi made a mental note that the heater had obviously given up on them again - he looked at his hands. "Go buy me something and I won't kick you out." Jounouchi said carefully after allowing the silence between them to stretch unbearably, actually being picky with the words he chose for once.

That piqued Yugi's interest, it was very rare that Jounouchi behaved this way.

"...Buy you what, Jounouchi."

"Just grabbing something off a friend." He said.

 _Of course_ , Yugi thought bitterly. H _e's sending me on a fucking drug run. Asshole_.

"I've already made sure he's free. He'll meet you at the docks when you're ready."

That was about a three-minute walk from their apartment. Jounouchi could easily do it himself.

But, clearly Yugi was expected to pay for what he'd said- literally.

He could say no.

Tell Jounouchi to go fuck himself.

Grab his stuff and stay on someone's couch for a few weeks.

 _Whose couch?_ A voice in his head smirked.

He ignored that and gazed at his friend, who was still clearing his throat and trying to recover from having the wind torn from his lungs.

Jounouchi had grown weak.

There had been a time when he would get in fights far worse on an almost daily basis, relishing in the thrill of his own heartbeat.

But that boy was long gone, Yugi had come to realise.

Mentally drafting a list in his mind to prepare for his first ever drug deal, he sighed heavily, and watched his friend sit on the bed.

"How much money will I need."


	2. A Vulpine Act Of Hostility

Atem dropped the small plastic bag into Yugi's lap before he dropped his tired bones into the chair by his side.

He drew his uninjured leg to his chest, resting his chin on it and looking at the man beside him.

"I told you I wasn't hungry."

Atem looked at him, "Junkie, shut up and eat. Worrying about him won't make him live if he took too much."

Yugi's eyes went from surprised, to spiteful, to blank in the space of a second, he set his jaw and dug through the bag, withdrawing a small bag of mixed nuts.

"Thank you." He said quietly.

Atem nodded, curling his fingers around his own foot, watching him too fixedly.

Yugi was different, the flames that always seemed to be circling around were so distant it was as though they had never touched the boy.

His eyes exposed his uncertainty, his posture slack, slumped small in the chair as though trying to inhabit as minimal space in this world as he physically could.

This wasn't the man he'd sold drugs to and wanted to taunt, nor the drunken boy who had ridden him until they were both sweaty and breathless in his moonlit bedroom.

This Yugi was somebody entirely different.

Atem still liked him.

He thought maybe he liked him best like this, splayed open, so honest.

He licked his dry lips and watched Yugi dig through the nuts for the ones he wanted, focused as though finding the single pistachio in the packet would make everything that was going wrong in the world around him rectify itself.

Atem didn't know what this feeling was, had long accepted he wasn't particularly capable of loving anybody with any semblance of romance behind it, knew that wanting to fuck Yugi had less to do with an actual raw attraction to him and more to do with how apparent it had been that it was what Yugi had wanted.

And yet, the boy somehow managed to clear Atem's head, watching him amused him, the loose curl of his blonde bangs made him want to twist it around his fingers.

Atem didn't know what it was, he only knew he didn't want it to go away yet.

"Mr Mutou?"

Atem turned his eyes toward the doctor standing above them, a woman with brown hair that hung just past her shoulders, taller than him but not by much, her green eyes were kind.

She was the kind of woman who would cry over her patient's deaths, who would personally work to ensure you knew your relatives were well cared for.

Yugi murmured something in response, nodding.

"Does Jounouchi have a relative we can contact?"

Yugi shook his head, "His little sister can't know about this, and his parents are both dead."

Atem saw the tiniest of walls in Yugi's eyes, wished he knew why.

"We live together, I've known him my entire life, and I brought him here last time. I'm the only one."

The doctor sighed and nodded, "Okay, well you must already be aware that we cannot let you make any decisions or be privy to any specific knowledge without his consent. He is still currently unconscious, so you can't see him, however he is stable for the moment, and we're doing everything we can to help him pull through."

Yugi nodded respectfully, "Okay. Thank you." He dropped his eyes to the bag on the floor as the nurse murmured something supportive before moving away, her shoulders drawn tight with tension and concern.

Atem watched Yugi palm through the contents of the bag aimlessly, as though he was looking for something he already knew wasn't there.

He sighed, and grabbed Yugi's arm, standing quickly and pulling him to his feet, "come with me."

Yugi planted his feet, rising to his feet but not moving with him.

"You should go."

Atem looked at him, frowning at the snappy tone, "What's up your ass?"

Yugi didn't meet his eyes, "Well, you were, and then you just ignored me."

Atem stared at him.

Yugi's cheeks flushed.

"Did you just- wow. Okay. Um, my sincerest apologies, junkie, but I do actually have a job and shit to do other than sit around replying to your ass. I don't know why you would assume it would be anything other than a quick fuck."

Yugi's eyes settled, his chin lifting, he looked more like the man he had been selling drugs to.

"Where are we going?"

Atem stepped toward him, "I'm going to make it up to you, you can take me on a date." He grinned, lacing one hand through Yugi's hair and pressing a kiss onto his mouth.

Atem let Yugi twist their fingers together, his boney digits being crushed between Yugi's.

They walked together down the street, the bounce of every step sending sparks of pain through his leg and neck.

He bit at the inside of his cheek and ignored it, thinking about Yugi.

The boy beside him was filled with some kind of manic energy.

He was gloomy and dark, and yet seemed to buzz with movement, his eyes flicking around.

"The planetarium." He said, his voice filled with satisfaction.

Atem raised an eyebrow, "Come again?"

"That's where we're going."

Atem smiled faintly, "Sounds like fun. Space is cool." He squeezed Yugi's hand in his.

Atem wasn't sure why he felt so warm inside, or why the smile in Yugi's voice made his chest pound.

He just knew he didn't want to let go of his hand.

They walked the last block together, Atem playing over their interactions in his mind while Yugi chatted rather incessantly about nothing in particular.

Yugi was a drug addict, and yet, he couldn't help this.

He enjoyed his company so much and he thought about kissing him a lot.

The last person who tried to kiss him, had left the room with a broken jaw.

Atem didn't know what it was about this boy that broke through his walls, but he thought he wouldn't mind if Yugi wanted to put up a fresh coat of paint.

It terrified him, he wanted to run away.

Atem watched Yugi approach the counter inside the building, pulling out his wallet and speaking quietly with the elderly woman behind the desk.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he squeezed Yugi's hand in apology and released him, stepping back onto the street before answering.

It was Kaiba.

"I'm going to put everything you own into an incinerator."

Atem frowned, "What the fuck?"

"Where the hell are you, Atem? You're injured. Badly. You're meant to be in bed for two weeks' _minimum_. If you don't get back here within twenty minutes, you'll be homeless."

"If I was homeless again, you realise it'd be harder for me to heal?"

Kaiba's voice was strained, Atem heard the slight whistle of his breath, the scratch of a pen on paper, "Your thigh wound was reopened, and it had _barely_ healed, Atem. I know you weren't cleaning it properly, do I have to remind you that your fucking femoral artery was almost completely severed? You could have bled out in ten minutes. And your throat- fucking Christ, I know you like to flirt around with death and think you're edgy, but you need to fucking knock it off."

Atem tried to interrupt, and Kaiba sharply cut him off, his voice was so full of anxiety is intimidated him.

"Fuck you. Get your fucking ass back here, you might not give a shit about your own health and safety, but I know you care about Marik. Do you want him to pay for your fuck up? Because you know he'll take your job any day of the week."

Atem groaned.

Kaiba had finished his rant, and now the silence stretched across the line endlessly.

It was crushing, squeezing his heart with cold air.

"Can you send a car? I'm at the planetarium in town."

He heard his friend's tongue click, "You fucking astound me."

The call dropped.

Atem stared at the sign for the cafe across the street, still holding the phone to his ear.

"Fuck you too buddy." He muttered, and put the phone into his back pocket, heading inside.

Yugi had one hand on the door, about to come outside to check on him.

"Hey- uh, listen, I have to go." The crushing pain that fell directly onto Yugi's face felt like bricks, "it's a work thing. I have to deal with it. We'll take a rain check. I hope Katsuya will be okay."

Yugi was just staring at him, a kind of miserable acceptance clear in his eyes, his mouth turned downward in a painful pout.

Atem hated it.

Hated this moment, hated Kaiba, hated himself.

He needed to rectify it, had to resolve it, had to fix him.

Yugi's lips parted, and Atem realised he was breathing heavily, panicking.

He launched himself face-first at the other man, both hands coming to grab at his back, their lips crushing together, moving together, shaking.

Atem kissed him for a long minute, Yugi's back pressing to the glass doors, a shaky breath from his nose before they separated.

"I'm sorry- I really have to-"

"Is there a car coming? Can we sit and talk?"

Atem looked at him, "okay." He said quietly, and turned his back to the wall, sliding down it slowly, he raised his uninjured leg.

Yugi sat quickly beside him, plopping down ungracefully.

"What happened to your neck?"

Atem looked at him sharply, pulling his coat up in an attempt to cover the bandages again.

"Nothing. None of your business."

Yugi shrugged, "just asking."

Atem scowled, "Well, it's none of your business."

"Drug dealer drama?" Yugi suggested, and Atem nodded.

He let one hand drop down to graze along the other boy's thigh, fingers dragging patterns across the exposed skin surrounded by torn jeans.

"My job isn't exactly safe. Good thing not many people are around to get hurt if I die." Atem murmured.

Yugi made a noise like he was listening, thinking, his hair in his eyes.

He needed a fucking haircut.

"I mean, I got fucking stabbed in the thigh three months ago. I didn't even _do_ anything! I was on a collection, I visit this guy every goddamned week, and he just pulls a knife on me, shoves it into my leg before I can say two words." Atem continued, "And then of course, he had backup. This ugly guy with long white hair and one eye grabs me by the throat, hits on me, then just _actually_ hits me. Knocked me out.

" _My_ backup came in after about ten minutes - she's a fucking bitch, she was on a phone call - and called the boss, got me to a hospital. I nearly bled out. Honestly, I wish the bitch had fucking left me there, Kaiba yelled at me for twenty minutes and Mana follows me around like a puppy now. I don't need a babysitter, and you've seen her, she's fucking tiny."

Yugi was smirking, his dreary purple eyes lit up a little as he listened to him.

"She thinks you're hot, by the way."

Yugi's thigh started to move under his fingers, shaking slightly, he looked up, his shoulders were shaking as he laughed, an easy giggle.

"Holy shit, Atem. You're a depressing little fuck, aren't you?"

Atem stared at him, "Feel free to fucking walk away, whenever you want."

"I'm good here. I mean, hey, I get it, you have this whole 'i'm so dark, I think about death and I probably never eat so that all my bones stick out' thing going on, but fuck, do you even _want_ to be happy?"

Atem could feel his own rage pouring through his bones, he wanted to grab Yugi by the throat again.

He hated him so much, but at the same time he wished Yugi would keep going, tell him how pathetic and worthless he was, spit in his face and then fuck him through a wall.

He shook his head, looking at his own hands for a moment before grinning at Yugi.

"Like you can fucking talk. You look like shit, and quite frankly, you're kind of gross. When was the last time you washed your hair? Your apartment was fucking disgraceful and just being around you makes me feel like I need to shower. You aren't exactly a ball of sunshine yourself, you're a melancholy jerk who thinks the world is shitting specifically on him, like you're so fucking special. Get your own shit together before you take out your own problems on me, I'm not your goddamn mirror, kid."

Yugi was silent for a long moment, his elbows resting on his knees, feet together, staring straight ahead.

His eyes were focused, eyebrows drawn.

"I'm older than you." he murmured in a muted tone, before setting his jaw and clenching it. Atem saw the muscle there working as he ground his teeth.

The weighted pressure of the truth hung over them both as though gravity had been turned up, forcing their shoulders down, heads into slumps left by shitty posture.

They sat together in silence, Atem's easy posture giving him the advantage of seeming as though he had his shit together.

He dug holes in his palms with his fingernails, tugged the bandages away from his throat and scratched at the stitches there until his nails were stained with his own blood.

He wished the car would arrive and take him anywhere, away from this place.

Maybe Kaiba hadn't given the driver orders not to listen to him and he could talk him into stopping at a liquor store.

Wheels splashed water over the gutter as the steel grey car pulled up sharply beside them.

Atem wondered how much time had passed, felt like he had skipped minutes of his own life, staring ahead but seeing nothing.

Are you dissociating again? Atem, you know that's bad.

Atem shook Mana's voice from his head as he stood, tired legs not bothering to complain with pain receptors, favouring to strike his brain with a high-pitched whine, a warning not to push for anything more from them.

He ignored it, as usual. The sound was like the voice of an old friend at this point.

He turned to Yugi, offered him a hand to pull him to his feet.

"If I text you, are you going to answer?"

Atem shrugged easily, "Worth a shot, buddy."

He swung one hand, forming an easy fist, and connected it gently with Yugi's shoulder.

Yugi's eyes widened, they seemed to take up his entire face.

"You-"

"Shut up!" Atem grabbed the car door and threw himself into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut.

His face was hot with embarrassment.

"What the fuck is wrong with me."

The driver glanced at him, "To the liquor store, sir?"

Atem leant back into the seat, looking at the smooth roof, " _Please, Isono._ "

"Very well."

Atem watched Yugi through the heavily tinted window as they pulled away, watching until he was too small to distinguish from the side of the building, the muted greys of his outfit blending into the moody neutrality of the overcast day.


End file.
